Archive for July, 2006

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Posted in Irish Blather on July 27th, 2006 by Lisa

I hope you enjoy this as much as I did:

Divil a bit

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Tuesday was the sixth of June.That may not mean diddly to your average potatohead, but if you write the date down…then you get 06062006.Okay, that doesn’t look particularly sinister, but if you remove all the zeroes…then you get 6626.Look, fuckit, just forget about the 2! THEN you get…666.

This, according to the Book of Revelations, is Satan’s number. It was designed to allow for easier dialling by the single-clawed beasts and ogres and whatnot.

So on with the divilment, as we give a nod to three reliable satanic fixtures in the world of art.

Representing the world of film, we have The Exorcist.exorcist.jpg
Fr Merrin: “Karras. Karras! It was deceit. Mockery!”
Fr Karras: “I tell you I am sure! I saw her! My own mother!”
Fr Merrin: “But how can you be so sure?”
Fr Karras: “Because she said ‘When’s-a you Dolmio day?‘”
Fr Merrin: “Ah. The demon has many Dolmio days. I hope you did not tell her.”
Fr Karras [pounding forehead]: “I DID. I DID. I told her…that it was Tuesday. I also told her that I now prefer the chunky vegetable one. I have failed us!” [wails]
Fr Merrin [sighing]: “Okay. Have some rest. I will take over.”Representing the world of music, or at least the world of hairy jug-bands, we have Morbid Angel.

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This is MORBID ANGEL.

They’re METAL. And SATANIC.

Their guitar player is TREY AZAGTHOTH.

He plays VIDEOGAMES.

His online Quake team are called the SAILOR SCOUTS.

That is NOT a GAY NAME.

IT IS NOT SO SHUT YOUR FACE.

SHUT UP OR I’M CALLING MOM!

MOM!

ahem

Trey took a STRICT VOW of dual-fingerism when he joined Morbid Angel in 1983.

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Trey has since had to learn how to WASH, EAT and WIPE HIS HOLE using only these two fingers.

That’s cause the middle two fingers are WUSSIES.

And finally representing the world of literature, we have H.P. Lovecraft.

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Details are sparse on the life of H.P. Lovecraft.

However, we do know that the world of condiments and sauces would be a much poorer place without him.

He also famously discovered that a cigar tube filled with angry bees made quite the bedtime companion for the dowagers who could afford it at the time.

de Selby’s disquisitions on night and sleep from Flann O’Brien, The Third Policeman

Posted in Irish Blather on July 27th, 2006 by Lisa

Not excepting even the credulous Kraus (see his Do Selby’s Leben), all the commentators have treated de Selby’s disquisitions on night and sleep with considerable reserve. This is hardly to be wondered at since he held (a) that darkness was simply an accretion of ‘black air’, i.e., a staining of the atmosphere due to volcanic eruptions too fine to be seen with the naked eye and also to certain ‘regrettable’ industrial activities involving coal-tar by-products and vegetable dyes; and (b) that sleep was simply a succession of fainting-fits brought on by semi-asphyxiation due to (a). Hatchjaw brings forward his rather facile and ever-ready theory of forgery, pointing to certain unfamiliar syntactical constructions in the first part of the third so called ‘prosecanto’ in Golden Hours. He does not, however, suggest that there is anything spurious in de Selby’s equally damaging rhodomontade in the Layman’s Atlas where he inveighs savagely against ‘the insanitary conditions prevailing everywhere after six o’clock’ and makes the famous gaffe that death is merely ‘the collapse of the heart from the strain of a lifetime of fits and fainting’. Bassett (in Lux Mundi) has gone to considerable pains to establish the date of these passages and shows that de Selby was hors de combat from his long-standing gall-bladder disorders at least immediately before the passages were composed. One cannot lightly set aside Bassett’s formidable table of dates and his corroborative extracts from contemporary newspapers which treat of an unnamed ‘elderly man’ being assisted into private houses after having fits in the street. For those who wish to hold the balance for themselves, Henderson’s Hatchjaw and Bassett is not unuseful. Kraus, usually unscientific and unreliable, is worth reading on this point. (Leben, pp. 17-37.)

As in many other of de Selby’s concepts, it is difficult to get to grips with his process of reasoning or to refute his curious conclusions. The ‘volcanic eruptions’, which we may for convenience compare to the infra-visual activity of such substances as radium, take place usually in the ‘evening’ are stimulated by the smoke and industrial combustions of the ‘day’ and are intensified in certain places which may, for the want of a better term, be called ‘dark places’. One difficulty is precisely this question of terms. A ‘dark place’ is dark merely because it is a place where darkness ‘germinates’ and ‘evening’ is a time of twilight merely because the ‘day’ deteriorates owing to the stimulating effect of smuts on the volcanic processes. De Selby makes no attempt to explain why a ‘dark place’ such as a cellar need be dark and does not define the atmospheric, physical or mineral conditions which must prevail uniformly in all such places if the theory is to stand. The ‘only straw offered’, to use Bassett’s wry phrase, is the statement that ‘black air’ is highly combustible, enormous masses of it being instantly consumed by the smallest flame, even an electrical luminance isolated in a vacuum. ‘This,’ Bassett observes, ‘seems to be an attempt to protect the theory from the shock it can be dealt by simply striking matches and may be taken as the final proof that the great brain was out of gear.’

A significant feature of the matter is the absence of any authoritative record of those experiments with which de Selby always sought to support his ideas. It is true that Kraus (ace below) gives a forty-page account of certain experiments, mostly concerned with attempts to bottle quantities of ‘night’ and endless sessions in locked and shuttered bedrooms from which bursts of loud hammering could be heard. He explains that the bottling operations were carried out with bottles which were, ‘for obvious reasons’, made of black glass. Opaque porcelain jars are also stated to have been used ,with some success’. To use the frigid words of Bassett, such information, it is to be feared, makes little contribution to serious deselbiana (sic).’ Very little is known of Kraus or his life. A brief biographical note appears in the obsolete Bibliographie de de Selby. He is stated to have been born in Ahrensburg, near Hamburg, and to have worked as a young man in the office of his father, who had extensive jam interests in North Germany. He is said to have disappeared completely from human ken after Hatchjaw had been arrested in a Sheephaven hotel following the unmasking of the de Selby letter scandal by The Times, which made scathing references to Kraus’s ‘discreditable’ machinations in Hamburg and clearly suggested his complicity. If it is remembered that these events occurred in the fateful June when the County Album was beginning to appear in fortnightly parts, the significance of the whole affair becomes apparent. The subsequent exoneration of Hatchjaw served only to throw further suspicion on the shadowy Kraus.

Recent research has not thrown much light on Kraus’s identity or his ultimate fate. Bassett’s posthumous Recollections contains the interesting suggestion that Kraus did not exist at all, the name being one of the pseudonyms adopted by the egregious du Garbandier to further his ‘campaign of calumny’. The Leben, however, seems too friendly In tone to encourage such a speculation.

Du Garbandier himself, possibly pretending to confuse the characteristics of the English and French languages, persistently uses ‘black hair’ for ‘black air’, and makes extremely elaborate fun of the raven-headed lady of the skies who deluged the world with her tresses every night when retiring. The wisest course on this question is probably that taken by the little known Swiss writer, Le Clerque. ‘This matter,’ he says, ‘is outside the true province of the conscientious commentator inasmuch as being unable to say aught that is charitable or useful, he must preserve silence.’

Three Beginnings from Flann O’Brien, At Swim-Two-Birds

Posted in Irish Blather on July 27th, 2006 by Lisa

HAVING placed in my mouth sufficient bread for three minutes’ chewing, I withdrew my powers of sensual perception and retired into the privacy of my mind, my eyes and face assuming a vacant and preoccupied expression. I reflected on the subject of my spare-time literary activities. One Beginning and one ending for a book was a thing I did not agree with. A good book may have three openings entirely dissimiliar and inter-related only in the prescience of the author, or for that matter one hundred times as many endings.

Examples of three separate openings – the first:

The Pooka MacPhellimey, a member of the devil class, sat in his hut in the middle of a firwood meditating on the nature of numerals and segregating in his mind the odd ones from the even. He was seated at his diptych or ancient two-leaved writing-table with inner sides waxed. His rough long-nailed fingers toyed with a snuff-box of perfect rotundity and through a gap in his teeth he whistled a civil cavatina. He was a courtly man and received honour by reason of the generous treatment he gave his wife, one of the Corrigans of Carlow.

The second opening:

There was nothing unusual in the appearance of Mr John Furriskey but actually he has one distinction that is rarely encountered – he was born at the age of twenty-five and entered the world with a memory but without personal experience to account for it. His teeth were well formed but stained by tabacco, with two molars filled and a cavity threatened in the left canine. His knowledge of physics was moderate and extended to Boyle’s Law and the Parallelogram of Forces.

The third opening:

Finn Mac Cool was a legendary hero of old Ireland. Though not mentally robust, he was a man of superb physique and development. Each of his thighs was as thick as a horses belly, narrowing to a calf as thick as the belly of a foal. Three fifties of fosterlings could engage with handball against the wideness of his backside, which was large enough to halt the march of men through a mountain-pass.

Heraclitus by Jorge Luis Borges

Posted in Time on July 26th, 2006 by Lisa

The day’s second twilight.
Night that sinks into sleep.
Purification and oblivion.
The day’s first twilight.
Morning that was once dawn.
Day that once was morning.
The crowded day that will become the weary evening.
The day’s second twilight.
That other habit of time, night.
Purification and oblivion.
The day’s first twilight . . .
The furtive dawn and in the dawn
the Greek’s bewilderment.
What web is this
of will be, is, and was?
What river’s this
through which the Ganges flows?
What river’s this whose source is unimaginable?
What river’s this
that bears along mythologies and swords?
No use in sleeping.
It runs through sleep, through deserts, through cellars.
The river bears me on and I am the river.
I am made of a changing substance, of mysterious time.
Maybe the source is in me.
Maybe out of my shadow
the days arise, relentless and unreal.

From In Praise of Darkness, trans. Norman Thomas di Giovanni

Art or Not: from Cat and Girl by Dorothy Gambrell

Posted in Art on July 26th, 2006 by webmaster

Art or Not

To see more Cat and Girl by Dorothy Gambrell, click here.

The RejoovenEsense Compound from Margaret Atwood, Oryx and Crake

Posted in Science/Technology on July 25th, 2006 by webmaster

Next morning Crake took him for a preliminary tour of the RejoovenEsense Compound in his souped-up electric golf cart. It was, Jimmy had to admit, spectacular in all ways. Everything was sparkling clean, landscaped, ecologically pristine, and very expensive. The air was particulate-free, due to the many solar whirlpool purifying towers, discreetly placed and disguised as modern art. Rockulators took care of the microclimate, butterflies as big as plates drifted among the vividly coloured shrubs. It made all the other Compounds Jimmy had ever been in, Watson-Crick included, look shabby and retro.

“What pays for all this?” he asked Crake, as they passed the state-of-the-art Luxuries Mall – marble everywhere, colonnades, cafes, ferns, takeout booths, roller-skating path, juice bars, a self-energizing gym where running on the treadmill kept the light bulbs going, Roman-look fountains with nymphs and sea-gods.

“Grief in the face of inevitable death,” said Crake. “The wish to stop time. The human condition.”

The Martha Graham Academy from Margaret Atwood, Oryx and Crake

Posted in Art on July 25th, 2006 by webmaster

The Martha Graham Academy was named after some gory old dance goddess of the twentieth century who’d apparently mowed quite a swath in her day. There was a gruesome statue of her in front of the administration building, in her role – said the bronze plaque – as Judith, cutting off the head of a guy in a historical robe outfit called Holofernes. Retro feminist shit, was the general student opinion. Every once in a while the statue got its tits decorated or steel wool glued onto its pubic region – Jimmy himself had done some of this glueing – and so comatose was the management that the ornaments often stayed up there for months before they were noticed. Parents were always objecting to this statue – poor role model, they’d say, too agressive, too bloodythirsty, blah blah – whereupon the students would rally to its defence. Old Martha was their mascot, they’d say, the scowl, the dripping head and all. She represented life, or art, or something …

The students of song and dance continued to sing and dance, although the energy had gone out of these activities and the classes were small. Live performance had suffered in the sabotage panics of the early twenty-first century – no one during those decades had wanted to form part of a large group at a public event in a dark, easily destructible walled space, or no one with any cool or status. Theatrical events had dwindled into versions of the singalong or the tomato bombardment or the wet T-shirt contest. And though various older forms had dragged on – the TV sitcom, the rock video – their audience was ancient and their appeal mostly nostalgic.

So a lot of what went on at Martha Graham was like studying Latin, or book-binding: pleasant to contemplate in its way, but no longer central to anything, though every once in a while the college president would subject them to some yawner about the vital arts and their irresistable reserved seat in the big red-velvet amphitheatre of the beating human heart.

Happiness by Jorge Luis Borges

Posted in Time on July 25th, 2006 by webmaster

Whoever embraces a woman is Adam. The woman is Eve.
Everything happens for the first time.
I saw something white in the sky. They tell me it is the moon, but
what can I do with a word and a mythology.
Trees frighten me a little. They are so beautiful.
The calm animals come closer so that I may tell them their names.
The books in the library have no letters. They spring forth when I open them.
Leafing through the atlas I project the shape of Sumatra.
Whoever lights a match in the dark is inventing fire.
Inside the mirror an Other waits in ambush.
Whoever looks at the ocean sees England.
Whoever utters a line of Liliencron has entered into battle.
I have dreamed Carthage and the legions that destroyed Carthage.
I have dreamed the sword and the scale.
Praised be the love wherein there is no possessor and no possessed, but both surrender.
Praised be the nightmare, which reveals to us that we the power to create hell.
Whoever goes down to a river goes down to the Ganges.
Whoever looks at an hourglass sees the dissolution of an empire.
Whoever plays with a dagger foretells the death of Caesar.
Whoever dreams is every human being.
In the desert I saw the young Sphinx, which has just been sculpted.
There is nothing else so ancient under the sun.
Everything happens for the first time, but in a way that is eternal.
Whoever reads my words is inventing them.

La cifra “The Limit” (1981). Jorge Luis Borges – Selected Poems. Translation by Stephen Kessler.

Now: from For the Time Being

Posted in Time on July 24th, 2006 by webmaster

Is it not late? A late time to be living? Are not our generations the crucial ones? For we have changed the world. Are not our heightened times the important ones? For we have nuclear bombs. Are we not especially significant because our century is? … No, we are not and it is not. These times of ours are ordinary times, a slice of life like any other. Who can bear to hear this, or who will consider it? Though perhaps we are the last generation – now there’s a comfort. Take the bomb threat away and what are we? Ordinary beads on a never-ending string. Our time is a routine twist of an improbable yarn.

We have no chance of being here when the sun burns out.

(Annie Dillard)